why gay marriage should be constitutionally banned

Posted: January 25, 2013 in believing, funny shit, gay rights, gay stuff, human rights, politics
Tags: , ,

no-gay-marriageNO on gay marriage…for 10 reasons:

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, plastic surgery, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay. Just like hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. The institution of marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all. Women are still property, blacks can’t marry whites, wives can’t testify against their husbands, and divorce is still illegal.

5. The institution of marriage will be destroyed if gay marriage is allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55 hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed, and the over-50% divorce rate will be less sacred.


6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to get married because they can’t produce children. And we certainly need more children!

7. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is anti-Biblical. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in American.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to women and minorities having equal rights.

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  1. Bruce Baker-Rooks says:

    I can’t tell you how many marriages and families have been destroyed because of my marriage to my husband. I suppose we really ought to be ashamed, but we just giggle with glee at the mayhem and destruction we have caused. My father, on the other hand, has been the glue that has held society, morals, and faith to the highest of standards through all 5 of his heterosexual marriages. I think he does take the Biblical concept of marriage seriously because he has always had women on the side – the Biblical term I believe is, concubines.

    • That’s nothing hun my friend red pazuzu and his evil gay political agenda have so far caused the following things to occur: First he used his gay community’s political agenda to create hurricane sandy, then all the gays jumped on a jet, flew all the way to south africa, caused one guy to go crazy with a knife and try to stab some children, he was subdued, that didn’t work, then they flew directly over to wait which volcano is going to explode into ten billion pieces in south america google it I”m too lazy to look, btw it’s been downgraded and the people that live on the volcano would not voluntarily evacuate, trust me if that volcano was going to blow they would have known years ahead of time. then they fly back to louisiana just in time to cause another hurricane to destroy 1/3 of louisiana AGAIN because of america’s support of marriage equality, and now he’s just informed me that he runs the cia, the fbi, the food and drug administration, and that he’s going to teach us how to have fun with genetically modified corn that I wouldn’t feed to my worst enemy……I can go on and on and ON but I think I’ve made my point oh btw I’m straight, you guys are BADASS, I’m never messing with any of you again I live in nyc I do not want another hurrciane. have mercy, please? 😉

      • Bruce Baker-Rooks says:

        I always tell my friends, “I’m nice, but don’t cross me! I’m gay and can make bad things happen!” 🙂

        • Junior E says:

          What in the world are you going to do when it will be made plain and clear to you by God that
          homosexuality is immoral and an abomination in God’s eyesight? What are you going to do if
          you’d die in your sins (going after what God calls STRANGE FLESH) and end up in hell and finally in the LAKE OF FIRE. It won’t be any fun n games, then, believe me.

          • Anonymous says:

            LOL – Junior…your outpouring of god’s love will bring many people to Christ, I’m sure.

          • Bruce Baker-Rooks says:

            Junior E: It has been made plain and clear to me that I am a child of God, created in the image of God and beloved by God as the person I am, from the tip of my head, to the bottom of my toes, and throughout, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and sexually. I know, that I know, that I know, that when I leave this earthly life, I will have nothing to fear, and that I will be remain united with God, as I am today. The grace and mercy of God, shown to us through the life and sacrifice of Jesus assures us that we are all children of God, and that we are all created in the image of God. Blessings to you.

            Prayers arising; Blessings abound!

  2. Torger Helgeland says:

    Mike, I think you missed it here. If you’re going to stimulate discussion in the blogosphere with sarcasm, it must be well founded and accurate. That may be going beyond sarcasm’s purpose, I s’pose, but what, other than more polarization and distrust (hate?), does such superficial, unfounded sarcasm accomplish? Maybe I should back up and ask if you wrote that or if you actually believe it. I can think of lots of reasons why the poiints implied are not clearly settled at all, at least not to me, and I don’t say that from only a “Bible is clear and simple” perspective. If you really have investigated the homosexuality issue, go ahead and educate us in same fashion you do on gun control. You’re making a believer out of me on that one. It’s ironic, though. That issue is much more intuitive for regular non-gun toters, yet you’re willing to labor through much to enlighten us on it. The sexuality issue, on the other hand, full of human mystery and wonderment, gets only the quickie sarcasm treatment. OK, I’m holding you to some major publication standard, yet I figure you’ll appreciate it. As we bible holdouts say, “As iron sharpens iron, so one brother sharpens another.” All in good spirit, my friend. I appreciate you providing a reason to think about this stuff. Torg

    • nash says:

      You’ve got some good points here, Torg. And of COURSE I appreciate these sorts of conversations and comments. I think the only reason that I don’t really go into all the deeper reasons for my feelings on “the homosexual issue”, is because it’s really not an “issue” for people who are not steeped in religion. I don’t think I’ve actually talked to anyone under the age of 60 who is NOT in the religious community (or was) who cares who people sleep with. Gun control, though, either on one side or the other, tends to be an issue for lots of diverse people – most people have strong opinions about it – opinions NOT birthed by religion. So we can discuss it and try to change hearts and minds and not have to get into a religious conversation. But to discuss “the homosexual issue” – pros and cons – almost HAS to be done from a religious point of view…or else why would anyone have a big issue with it? Do you know very many secular people who think there is still an “issue” regarding gays in general? NOW….if you’re truly talking about gay MARRIAGE, that might be a slightly different story. I have met a few people who are not in the church who don’t want gays to have the right to marry. Not many, but a few. 98% of the people I DO talk to, though, who are AGAINST gay marriage, are people in the church – so, again, it’s hard to have a non-religious conversation about it. The non-religious people (AND many religious people, too) agree with me, so there’s no debate to be had, and most of the conservative religious people don’t agree with me, but they can only site their religion for reasons why. Now, you may ask, so, why NOT make it a religious conversation? What’s wrong with discussing gay marriage in the context of what the Bible supposedly says or doesn’t say? Well…i guess it’s because there are a lot of people who don’t really care what the Bible says….so whether it supports gay marriage or condemns it…it doesn’t matter to them – so what is there to really discuss?
      Maybe I’m missing something – and should probably just ask you – what non-religious issues might people have with gay marriage? THANKS, man!

      • Anonymous says:

        Hi Mike, Late reply. Will you see this? Non religious issues with gay marriage. Raising kids. Now they say studies show the kids are fine. Since when do we as a society so happily accept a study (studies?) done so recently on such a huge long term societal issue? I just don’t see it coming out so nicely long term. I can see the news coming. “We used to think that… . But now we’re seeing…” By what reasoning are we anticipating that centuries of family norms can be radically changed in a relative eyeblink and think all is nifty?

        Good point on the difference between gun control and sexual norms. Yeah guns kill and maim immediately , so it’s understandable that people will easily see the problem. Sex is a different animal. Mysterious, and the diseases lag a bit after the act, sometimes for years. Then there’s the psychological stuff which can fall a bit into the mysterious dept. But not caring who somebody sleeps with on one hand I agree with. It’s there life and hopefully I’ll treat em like Jesus would, realizing that , coming from someone else, love is likely the only thing that prompts true introspection unto honesty within oneself, since there’s no reason to be defensive when faced with love ( a nice idea anyway, not that I succeed much).

        But truly not caring who someone sleeps with requires that one believe it’s inconceivable that someone can be traumatized or confused etc. into same sex attraction vs. being born that way. Some my be born that way, but I simply don’t believe all are and the mystery of what that has to do with a person’s self perception seems too important to me to just smile at and say “Gee, that’s nice.” Am I an idiot or just a non-lemming if I don’t accept out of hand that same sex attraction is just a happy innocent phenomena? What’s the deal with identical twins among whom most (60%) of the time if one is gay the other is not? it might lie in the newly discovered trigger DNA wherein something in the environment triggers same sex attraction in one and not the other, so to be born gay is to be born with a tendency waiting for a triggering event. Quite possible. But some people are miserably gay, and the health problems that come with the lifestyle compound the misery. (“The lifestyle”: saw it recently in the paper. : HIV diagnoses down in all groups accept gay men. Speculation is they’ve lost the urgency to fight the disease since more effective drugs are available. so it’s back to party time, gay style…But then there are the commited monogamous types ( a few) so it seems to be a mixed bag out there, but to be all smiles about happy alternative sexualities seems like lemming PC to me. Issue for us Jesus types is : What does it look like to love gays? I go , my butt’s sore. Love to be set right on stuff, but I’m never on facebook… ugh.

  3. Torger Helgeland says:

    Oh, I just saw your sarczsm disclaimer at end…

    and also, the Chik fil a deal. All they do is say they’re in favor of limiting the word marriage to the traditional meaning and now they’re haters? See where polarizing gets us? No one trusts the other side to be fair, so the end justifies the means and we can jump to hasty conclusions, exagerate, indulge in one sided info and be just as intolerant as we’re convinced they are. When does this stuff become slander, or libel, or whichever it is??? Torg

    • Bruce Baker-Rooks says:

      Hi Torg,
      I don’t know you, and I don’t want to come off as offensive, but there is more to Chi-fil-a then their coming out in favor of “traditional marriage” (whatever that means, seriously). Chik-fil-a gives quite a bit of money to various religious based organizations, which is absolutely their right to do. One of the organizations they give money to has been financing, in large part, the bills in Uganda attempting to make homosexuality a capital offense, and making it a criminal offense, punishable with up to life in prison, to not turn over a known homosexual to authorities for prosecution. This is why I do not and will not frequent their establishments.

      Speaking of polarization – please don’t forget the churches are the ones who have been demonizing homosexuality, villifying homosexuals, and victimizing homosexuals. The churches are the ones who have caused LGBT people to commit suicide, to be disowned by their parents, families, and friends. The church has been the ones to preach that homosexuality is not natural and that LGBT people threaten civilized society. Religious leaders are the ones who have blamed LGBT people for everything from hurricanes and earthquakes, to tragedies such as Sandy Hook. Churches and religious leaders are 100% responsible for the polarization around this issue, and if pastors and religious leaders such as myself who are fighting for the rights and dignities of every person are causing these other so-called ministers to react negatively because we are calling them out on their hatred and bigotry and their blasphemous use of God’s name, then so be it, they deserve it. I honestly believe that no minister, no pastor, no professing Christian can use God’s name to say and do the things to LGBT people that have done, or to work to destroy the marriages and families of LGBT people and expect ever to hear the words from God, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Rather they need to fully expect to hear from God on the day of judgment, “Away from me, you evil doer, for I never knew you.” It is not the homosexuals that need to repent, it is those who continue to demonize them.

      • nash says:

        Hey Bruce – tell us what you really think…stop holding back. 🙂

        • nash says:

          Seriously, though – very well put. Torger – I was going to reply to your post with the information that Bruce shared about what that business supports…but Bruce beat me to it. Thanks both of you for your comments and honesty.

      • Anonymous says:

        Sad to agree that many church folk are guilty as charge, but what about the ones who aren’t and didn’t make the news? How many of them are out there? A silent majority? Possible , even though they still don’t know how to proactively embrace gays as people.

        And are there really no homosexuals that need to repent? Is it impossible to engage in homosexual behavior as a hetero? So I think what you meant was , generally, in comparison to all the bad the church has done to gays, it’s they who more need to repent than gays.

    • nash says:

      You all heard that Chick fil a changes their policy? Public pressure worked!

  4. allegro63 says:

    I happen to be a lover of sarcasm and satire as a means to address society. Its a long standing tool to get a point across, and done well, can get people to consider a view they may not have before.

    This is a great example. Nicely done.

    I agree The fact that allowing LGBT members of our communities is as big a threat to society OR marriage as the threat that my two cats would steal my car and hold up a PetSmart.

  5. allegro63 says:

    Allow to marry…

    Sorry..blame the crackberry I’m stuck on

    • Torger Helgeland says:

      Ugh, liking sarcasm. all in perspective etc. I can like it as long as I’m …what is it? Not too emotionally involved??? Anyway, I’m lost on modern life. On one hand we can’t offend anybody, on the other we can make superficial jokes about serious stuff.. I’m probly guilty as anyone. Just feels bad to be out of touch I guess.

      Thanks for info on Chic Fila (sp?). Good point, then. And on the churchy heads starting the polarizing. Tough one. Scares me that it may be true, but I’m sure I could get in a room with a bunch of em and be convinced otherwise. Two sides to every story. I just marvel at folk who inform themselves so well they gain confidence in taking a side. Much easier to ride the fence, wonder, and throw in a comment now and then.

      But on polarization, Is the whole phenomena exactly in that muddle of “Who knows who started it??” but it sure seems like they did and dammit I’m not gonna let em get away with that! ” Think hatfields and McCoys, palestinians and israelis. Now stopping it, there’s the rub. Probly the political reaality is that good guys finish last, so welcome to the world we sinners have created. Ya gotta sling the crap to win and it aint’ gonna change. BUT, will some follow Jesus’ teaching and leave revenge to God? Isn’t much polarization just rhetorical revenge? Can we possibly tone down the revenge and stick to enlightening? ( I stop and consider that I’m guilty too. Don’t know how to do it. For me, just waiting 24 hours before hitting ‘send’ would probly help). So I’m guilty of not being in the stream of culture that accepts sarcasm as a standard tool of discourse, but how do you do it…care much about an issue AND not get offended at sarcasm? How does one get a thick skin and should we? Why is sarcasm hurtful in personal relationships, but helpful in public discourse? Among like minded types, OK, but I just can’t believe it’s worth the risk of polarizing, offending, causing others to dig in in anger…. Torg

      • Torger Helgeland says:

        Why are we so sure that same sex parenting is a consequence free phenomenon?? We’re all guinea pigs in this, and you make it sound like it’;s been tried tested and found spiffier than sliced bread. Am I missing something here? Sounds unscientiific to me. Just airing the obvious , which is probly not PC, but are we afraid to do so ’cause we might offend folk? As one who’s often offended by shallow sarcasm I ask, now who’s thin skinned??

        • nash says:

          Good question. “Consequence free?” That’s a tough one. Is divorce consequence free when it comes to children? Of course it isn’t – it hurts kids badly. How about just single parenting in general? Does it harm kids not to have a dad and a mom… to have only one parent? Are there consequences to children when they’re raised by two heterosexual parents who teach their children that all gay people are going to hell? How about two hetrosexual parents, one of whom is having an affair? I would maintain that, first, being married by two loving, committed men or two loving, committed women, all other things being equal, would be better for kids than any of the above mentioned situations. But now you got me thinking…I’m going to start looking at some of the research on all this…thanks again

        • Bruce Baker-Rooks says:

          Nothing in life is consequence free, that is part of life. (I’m not trying to be glib here, I honestly believe that). I come from a family of a mom and dad, I’m the youngest of 3 kids. There was so much abuse in my house. My dad resented my being born (I’m a bonus baby), and he blamed me and my mom for ruining the family with my birth. I lived in fear of my dad coming home in the evenings because I never knew if he was going to beat me or simply ignore me. I would have had a much better childhood if my parents divorced years before they actually did. Financially, my mom always made much more money than my dad, so she would have been able to care for us without financial worries. Finally, my parents separated. Unfortunately, shortly after, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and she passed away 6 weeks after their divorce was final. My dad didn’t want me, my mom’s sister told my mom she would have be come live with them, but then backed away from that the day before I was supposed to move back east. My eldest brother (10 years older than me) finished raising me, but we lived in separate places, which was the best solution. I’m sharing all this only to state that this “nuclear family, traditional Biblical family” stuff is, in many cases, a load of crap! This whole argument that it takes a mom and a dad to raise healthy children is absolutely false – our society bears this out! I know quite a few same-sex couples who have raised kids and obviously I know a lot of people raised by opposite gender couples. The gender make-up of the parents really does not matter. The fact is, same gendered couples have been raising kids for a few decades now – it’s just becoming more known in general society now.

          So, Mike does not know this yet (and we’re keeping this off of facebook, so please don’t mention it on facebook), but my husband and I are going to be parents. We are very excited, thrilled, scared, and overwhelmed. It is a bit of an emergency adoption, and it just came about 2 weeks ago today. The adoption agency wants this finalized in 8-12 weeks, due to the circumstances of our sons biological family. Our son comes from a two-parent mom and dad family. For the first 2 years of his life he was neglected and abused horrifically. His parents are both extreme drug addicts and alcoholics. I won’t go into all the details here, but suffice it to say, it is a miracle he is still alive. We heard about him because our friends are his foster parents. He has been in DCF care for almost one year, and not one family has had any interest in adopting him, until us. When I went to meet him, I rang the doorbell and as I entered the building he came out of his apartment and ran down the hall and leapt into my arms and started hugging me. He had never met me, and no one had told him I was there as a potential adoptive family. He still does not know that we are working on the process yet. Two hours later, as I was leaving he gave me a hug and a kiss and said, “I love you dada”. EVERYONE about fell over in shock – he selected us! My questions is this, can you really say my son is better off with his birth family than with us? Is a heterosexual mom and dad family full of abuse, drugs, and alcohol, better for him than 2 dads who love him with all of our hearts – and we just met him 12 days ago? His foster parents are a female couple, and when he went to them 10 months ago, because of his abuse and neglect, chronologically he was 2.2 years of age, but he tested at that of an 8 month old. In February he was retested and he now tests at that of a 2 year old – and he will be 3 next Monday. In 8 months, because of love, attention, and lots of work, he went from that of an 8 month old to that of a 2 year old!

          This is my/our story. I hope this helps you consider parenting from a different perspective. I’ve got to sign off now. I get to go spend the day with my son.

  6. […] Gay rights/gay marriage I don’t care who people have sex with, or who they marry.  However, this one took me awhile to […]

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