Archive for the ‘general funny shit’ Category

As many of you know, our Liberian son joined our family of five a little over 10 years ago.  He’s an amazing kid!

Check out this great very short clip about what NOT to say to an adoptive family!   Click HERE.

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1175740_10153252726620078_1510238291_nFrom The Oatmeal

(They make me laugh every day.)

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Click HERE to go to AMAZON.COM and learn about the amazing new Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer

  • Faster, safer than using a knife
  • Great for cereal
  • Plastic, dishwasher safe
  • Slice your banana with one quick motion
  • Kids love slicing their own bananas

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“This banana slicer has saved us so much money and injuries, we may even be able to get health insurance again!”

“For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives. “Shoot it with a gun!” Background check…HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempting to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed…”

“What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn’t already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone…. this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day’s banana slices…we’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking”

“I woke up this morning for my birthday all excited to start opening presents. The first gift that I opened was this object. There was no packaging with it and no one told me what it was. Needless to say, we all know what this is shaped like. I’m currently awaiting treatment in the emergency room for banana slicer injuries. THIS PRODUCT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS! AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!”

“I don’t actually have the product to review, because I’m afraid that if I purchase it, the following week the 572 model will come out.  That’s the story of my life.”

Click here for more.

(Thank you, Mary Creamer.)

happy new yearHappy New Year to all of you!

This year I resolve to:

  • do something kind for someone every single day.
  • write far fewer Facebook posts that offend my friends.
  • give up control much more often.
  • eat veggies three times a day.
  • grow my hair longer. A little.
  • listen to music at night with the lights out more often.
  • tell my kids I love them several times each week.
  • do nice things for my dad, even though I get annoyed when I’m with him.
  • tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Or keep my mouth shut.
  • find the good in people. Don’t complain about them. Only say nice things about people behind their backs.
  • stop doing “age math” in order to convince myself that I’m not old.
  • play the piano more often.
  • grow spiritually, whatever that means at the time.
  • not pick lint up off the carpet.
  • only say “fuck” at appropriate moments.Happy Crazy New Year cr Joanna Harmon 3
  • give myself grace. (I’m not a bad guy, actually.)
  • send at least three birthday cards this year. (I’m terrible at this.)
  • save a little more money.
  • moisturize.
  • ask for advice.
  • ski and hike much more than I did last year.
  • enjoy the hell out of the second half of my life.
  • buy a sex toy.

How about you?

cliffClick HERE if the whole “fiscal cliff” thing is Greek to you.    Or if you REALLY want to get into it, click HERE.

And to learn why it’s going to be mostly John Boehner’s fault if we go over, click HERE

And to read about Boehner’s desperation prayer when his “Plan B” failed to win approval from his own caucus, click HERE.

And if all of this stuff bores you, click HERE