Posts Tagged ‘silliness’

America was founded as a Christian nation, and, frankly, I’m darn sick and tired of the constant assault on our religious freedoms from the gays, the minorities, and especially the ladies.

women-must-submit-to-men_women-must-serve-men-www.stepfordwife.comYes, you heard me – especially the ladies. What completely chaps my hide is how successful the women-folk have been in dragging us away from the Biblical values this great nation was founded upon. Everywhere you look nowadays you see chicks perverting the Biblical order of things by exercising leadership over men, participating in the complicated and sensitive political process, acting all uppity and equal to their husbands in marriages, wearing whatever the heck they want to wear (with no concern whatsoever over how their cleavage makes us men tingle), having sex when they choose to like men do, and worse.

Here’s some facts for you, Christian ladies…facts that I hope you will seriously consider:

  • The most common Biblical epithets for women are “harlot,” “whore,” and “unclean.” In fact, in most of your appearances in the Good Book, when you’re even mentioned at all, you are either superfluous or diabolical. Take a hint.
  • This is really important! Don’t forgot – YOU WERE AN AFTERTHOUGHT! You were designed to be a “help meet” for men! You wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for us men – you were literally created out of a man’s spare rib!
  • And THEN you completely messed everything up. Eve was a sin-inciting, disobedient, impulsive, morally inferior seductress who literally led to the downfall of humankind.

We need to get back to a Biblically based, common sense society where everyone knows their place and stays within the parameters outlined for them in God’s holy Book. Some examples of your “place,” ladies:

1 Corinthians 11:3-7:
But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man…for a man…is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

1 Peter 2:12-13
I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet, for it was man who was first created, then woman. 

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourself unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church…therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 

1 Peter 3:1-6
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your husbands. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and wearing of jewelry or fine clothes. Rather it should be that of your inner self, the unfolding beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted to their husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him “Lord.” 

women_in_the_bibleHear that, sweethearts? When was the last time you heard someone from the mainstream Godless liberal media encourage you to call your husbands “Lord?” Am I right?

(Side note: I don’t personally apply these particular passages to my own marriage, but only out of practical considerations. If I were to, my wife would cut off my testicles or leave me. Or both.)

Granted, the very next verse in 1 Peter does instruct husbands to treat their wives gently because they are “weaker vessels.” Kind of like how I treat my pets.

Even the Jesus’s mom was put in her place: Woman, what have I to do with thee?   (Jesus, John 20:17)

Still not convinced that women were basically created for men, to be men’s property?

The Bible makes it pretty dang clear that every aspect of women’s bodies and behaviors are subject to the scrutiny and control of men. The Good Book issues edicts over such matters as feminine hygiene, menstruation, pregnancy and more. No detail about women is too private or trite, from your periods (during which you are “unclean” for seven days) to your hairstyles to your housewifely duties to your conduct in church. (In 1 Corinthians, Paul says you’re to shut up at church, be submissive to your husbands, and wait until you get home to ask him questions.)

Another Jezebel mocking God's law.  She will burn.

Another Jezebel mocking God’s law. She will burn.

Back in the good old days daughters could be sold, women who had sex outside of marriage could be stoned or burned (their male partners got off scot-free), and women who did not have intact hymens on their wedding night were to be publically executed.

If a man raped a woman who was engaged to another man, both the rapist and the woman would be stoned to death. But if a man raped a women who was not already claimed as a man’s property (not engaged or married), the rapist was only required to pay the woman’s father fifty shekels of silver, and the women was forced to marry her rapist.

Clearly, the Bible defines women as men’s property. Why have we allowed our society to stray so far? Even the Ten Commandments lump women in with other possessions, such as asses. Women actually take second billing to inanimate objects, such as “they neighbor’s house” in the Exodus 20 variation.

Look, we are a Christian nation, founded on Christian principles. To the degree that we walk away from our religious heritage as a country, we play right into the hands of Satan. Remember, according to Sarah Palin and other right-thinking politicians, the Bible was the basis for our constitution – and it’s clear that in the Bible the weaker sex was placed on this earth for the purpose of meeting men’s needs and for men to have dominion over. Why have we allowed America to stray so far?

images-307This assault on Biblical values has been going on for over a hundred years now. Check out this whiny, self-indulgent, godless passage from an 1885 speech by the Feminazi Elizabeth Cady Stanton, the first woman to formally call for women’s right to vote:

You may go over the world and you will find that every form of religion which has breathed upon this earth has degraded woman. There is not one which has not made her subject to man. Men may rejoice in them because they make man the head of the woman. I have been traveling the old world during the last few years and have found new food for thought. What power is it that makes the Hindu woman burn herself on the funeral pyre of her husband? Her religion. What holds the Turkish woman in the harem? Her religion. By what power do the Mormons perpetuate their system of polygamy? By their religion. Man, of himself, could not do this; but when he declares, “Thus saith the lord,” of course he can do it. So long as ministers stand up and tell us that man is the head of the woman how are we to break the chains which have held women down through the ages? We want to help roll off from the soul of woman the terrible superstitions that have so long repressed and crushed her.

paulryan2Sheeple, don’t give in to this modern, liberal, anti-Christ rhetoric that seeks to pull you away from the one true religion and to destroy our country by stripping away our religious freedoms. Do everything possible to get us back on the straight and narrow as a nation: Pray, preach the true Word of God (not the liberal, pansy, “Christian-left” version), speak out against women’s “rights” whenever you can, and above all, vote Republican.

There are members of Congress who don’t understand or accept basic science concepts. This hilarious video is dedicated to them.

Click HERE

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Conservatives aren’t the only ones who say dumb things (see: Oh, the whacky things Conservatives say…)

…here are some unfortunate Liberal quotes:

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1. Sheryl Crow on Environmentalism: “I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.'”

2. Joe Biden on culturalism: “In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian Americans, movingfrom India. You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”

3. Whoopi Goldberg on 43-year-old Roman Polanski raping and sodomizing a 13-year-old girl: “I know it wasn’t rape-rape. It was something else but I don’t believe it was rape-rape.

4. Joy Behar on Economics: “Isn’t it a little racist to call it Black Friday?”

5. Former DNC Chairman Donald Fowler on possible delay of RNC convention due to Hurricane Gustav: “Plus they think the hurricane’s going to hit (starts laughing) New Orleans about the time they start. The timing, at least it appears now, that it’ll be there Monday. That just demonstrates God’s on our side”

6. Barack Obama: “I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go?”

7. John Kerry on the troops: “You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your images-148homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

8. Howard Dean: “We know that no one person can succeed unless everybody else succeeds.”

9. Rosie O’Donnell: “Don’t fear the terrorists. They’re mothers and fathers.”

10. Al Gore: “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”

11. Nancy Pelosi on the economy: “every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs.”

12. Helen Thomas: Jews should “get the hell out of Palestine” and “go home” to Germany and Poland.

13. Bill Clinton on ordinary Americans: “African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.”

14. Joe Biden on the economy: “The number one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S.”

15. Bill Maher on Christianity: “I think religion is a neurological disorder.

liberalsmotivator16. Ted Rall: “Over time, however, the endless war in Iraq began to play a role in natural selection. Only idiots signed up; only idiots died. Back home, the average I.Q. soared.”

17. Michael Moore on terrorism: “There is no terrorist threat. Yes, there have been horrific acts of terrorism and, yes, there will be acts of terrorism again. But that doesn’t mean that there’s some kind of massive terrorist threat.”

18. Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, DC: “If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate.”

19. California Senator Barbara Boxer: “Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I’m still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.”

20. Wesley Bolin, former governor of Arizona: “We’d like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles.”

21. Bill Clinton: “It all depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.”

22. Jerry Brown, former governor of California, and current candidate for the same position: “The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer jobs.”

23. Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, DC: “I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where’s Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less.”

24. Al Gore on zoology: “A zebra does not change its spots.”

25. Former Congressman Eric Massa: “Now, they’re saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.”

26. Radio personality Ed Schultz on elections: “If I lived in Massachusetts, I’d try to vote ten times … Yeah that’s right, I’d cheat to keep these bastards out. I would. Because that’s exactly what they are.”

27. John Kerry on health care: “I’m going to be honest with you — I don’t know a lot about Cuba’s healthcare system. Is it a government-run system?”

28. Congresswoman Maxine Waters on socialism: “Guess what this liberal would be all about? This liberal will be about socializing…uh, um…Would be about, basically, taking over, and the government running all of your companies.”

29. Senator Harry Reid on Barack Obama: “…light-skinned,” and with “no negro dialect.”

30. Nancy Pelosi on legislation: “But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it.”

Based on an article by Allen Clifton.  Like Allen, I’ve been amused, saddened and surprised by some of theseimages-149 super-frequent conservative statements that don’t seem to have a lot of thought behind them.

    • The government never does anything for me.”– Said by the person who drove on public roads from their job that provides overtime pay and safe working conditions for its employees, to pick up their children from public school. A job which they got because of their college degree, made possible by federal loans.  Oh, and their drive home was made safe due to a system of well organized traffic signals.  They probably stopped by the post office and the library on their way home, and didn’t get their car broken into while they were in said facilities.
    • “Keep the government out of my health care.”– Said by the person on Medicare, or the full time employee who has never had to pay a health care premium in their life.
    • “FEMA is unconstitutional.”– Said by the person prior to their town, and home, being destroyed by a natural disaster.
    • “I’m for a fiscally responsible government.”– Said by the person who voted for both Reagan and Bush twice.
    • “I’m for small government.”– Said by the person who supports a Constitutional Amendment defining marriage and laws which infringe on a woman’s right to choose.
    • “The Second Amendment keeps the government fearful of its citizens.”– Said by the person who supports spending hundreds of billions more on our defense, which is controlled by the government.
    • “I’m pro-life.”– Said by the person who brags about how often the death penalty is used in their state and who cheered when the government cut Aid to Dependent Children.

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  • “I believe in a traditional Constitutional government.”– Said by the person who believes citizens need guns to overthrow government and talks of secession anytime the Constitution supports something they disagree with.
  • “I don’t trust the mainstream media.”– Said by the person who brags about Fox News being American’s top cable news channel.
  • “We need to get back to traditional American values and freedom.”– Said by the person who cites a time in American history when interracial marriage was illegal, segregation was practiced and women were denied equal rights under the law.
  • “The government doesn’t create jobs.”– Said by the person who slams the President for poor job creation.
  • “Muslims are all terrorists.”– Said by the person that thinks all Muslims are from the Middle East and doesn’t realize the largest population of Muslims actually lives in Southeast Asia.
  • “Liberals hate freedom.”– Said by the person attacking liberals for protecting equal rights for gays, women, minorities and religions other than Christianity.
  • “Social Security is Socialism.”– Said by the person whose grandparents live off Social Security.images-147
  • “The recession was caused by Obama.”– Said by the person who believes January 20, 2009 somehow came before all of 2008.
  • “Climate change and the Big Bang Theory are lies from the devil.” – Said the person who read an article by a far right Christian.
  • “Tax cuts create jobs.”– Said the person who can’t explain why with higher taxes we had historic economic growth in the 90′s, and with lower taxes had a historic economic collapse.
  • “We must stop welfare abuse.”– Said the person who has no problem with rich individuals and giant corporations abusing our tax system to pay lower effective tax rates than most middle class Americans.
  • “The United States has the highest corporation tax rate in the world.”– Said by the person that isn’t aware that tax rates and effective tax rates are completely different, which the effective tax rate most American corporations pay is one of the lowest in the world.  (Apple paid zero in taxes last ku-xlargeyear.)
  • “Pregnancy by rape should be seen as a blessing from God”– Said by the person who carries a gun and pepper spray to avoid being raped.
  • “Homosexuality is a choice.”– Said by the person who can’t recall when they chose to be straight.
  • “Same-sex marriage ruins the sanctity of marriage.” – Said by the person who’s been divorced twice and cheated on both spouses.
  • “The minimum wage kills job creation.”– Said by the person who complains about too many people relying on welfare, many of which do so because they only make minimum wage.
  • “The government stifles our rights as Americans.”– Said by the person that’s upset because the government prevented them from denying someone else their rights as an American.
  • “Our nation was founded on the Christian religion as one nation under God.”– Said by the person who can’t find the word “Christianity” anywhere in our Constitution and doesn’t realize that the phrase “Under God” wasn’t added until the 1950′s. enhanced-buzz-6526-1271093915-7

To be fair…check out “to be fair,” for some stupid things Liberals have said.

images-125Gun control advocates AND opponents – please watch this short clip.  And, those of you who are against background checks and other common-sense strategies – please share your arguments with us again.  I’m just not getting it.

CLICK HERE

John Oliver goes to Australia to confront the charlatans claiming to have effectively regulated guns, then quickly discovers that maybe some of the arguments from American anti-gun-control groups are flawed. All the arguments, to be more specific.

HINT:  Australia had almost one gun massacre per year until they instituted gun laws.  Since then they’ve had…wait for it…zero.  But wait, there’s more:  Homocide by gun has decreased significantly, as well.  So has suicide.  And I’m pretty sure 5-year olds aren’t shooting their baby siblings.  

Click HERE for part 2